Anne Heche - Crazy or a Skank?
by Gabrielle
9/3/01

Try as she might, Xena cannot hold me back on this one! Xena’s philosophy is to ignore Ms. Heche. She believes Anne is not worth the bother. Au contraire, mon amore!! I have had just about enough of this skank making her way through Hollywood on the back of the lesbian community.

As I mentioned in another article on this site (Gay No More or Wishful Thinking?), with Anne Heche it is not about whether she loves women or men… Anne Heche is in love with Anne Heche! Her only goal is to make sure everyone else does as well. For some reason, Steve Martin use to date Anne. Though that relationship did not seem to end well. Steve Martin certainly had nothing nice to say about Anne in his movie Bowfinger. The part Heather Graham plays is meant to be Anne Heche. Steve Martin made it quite clear at the end of that movie that he felt Anne would do ANYTHING to get ahead in Hollywood, even cozy up with a well-known lesbian if it meant more fame for Anne.

Did Anne get the fame she was looking for out of her relationship with Ellen? Of course she did! They had only been dating a few weeks when Anne and Ellen splashed themselves on Oprah. Did anyone really feel good about that interview? Even Saturday Night Live parodied that Oprah moment as a ploy of Anne’s for big time publicity. End with Oprah? No way!! Next stop for the Anne Heche promotional train was a visit with Bill Clinton. Not only did our new lesbian poster couple for heterosexual America meet POTUS (President of the United States – come on ladies we are in DC and have to act like we are in the know;), but Anne felt the need to snog in front of him, and OOOPPS, the international press corps. Tact is not something that dear Ms. Heche seems to have acquired over her 32 years.

Does anyone think it is a coincidence that Anne Heche continues to want to cash in on her “crazy induced” relationship with Ellen DeGeneres? Dear Gabrielle, whatever could you be referring to? Oh you mean the fact that on September 5, 2001 Call Me Crazy by Anne Heche will be on bookshelves everywhere just a few short weeks before Ellen’s new series The Ellen Show begins on CBS? I PLEAD WITH YOU NOT TO PURCHASE THIS BOOK!! ANNE HECHE HAS ALREADY RECEIVED ENOUGH ILL GOTTEN GAIN FROM HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ELLEN DEGENERES!! Will I read this book, probably. But dear reader, I have already confessed to you my Achilles heal for tabloids and cheese in other columns. However, I refuse to purchase the book. It is for just this type of situation that God created libraries :)

Amazon Review A beautifully written and evocative memoir of pain and redemption, of hurt and healing, from an actress whose private life and personal choices have made her a household name. “My life is a life movies are made of," wrote Anne Heche in the proposal for her memoir. Yet what is truly surprising about Heche is that the most publicized event of her past -- her romance with Ellen DeGeneres -- is only one development in a fascinating and difficult life that has included more than its share of heartache and tragedy. Heche's memoir reveals the woman behind the headlines, one who has conquered overwhelming odds. Far from a celebrity memoir, this is an empowering and thought-provoking book guaranteed to surprise and inspire.

On September 5, 2001 the American public will finally learn the “truth” about Anne when she sits down to speak with Barbara Walters on 20/20. During this interview we will be asked to believe that Anne Heche finally came to her senses after she was found in 2000 whacked out of her mind on someone’s front porch.  Neither drugs nor extreme ambition are the cause of her problems. We are going to get to hear the gory details of her abusive childhood. Time to call Alan Dershowitz so he can write another chapter for his book Abuse Excuse. Now that Anne is aware she is crazy, I guess she can now be “normal” and marry a man. Wow, that sure is one darn inspirational tale – puke.

Anne Heche reminds me of Rasputin. That “lovely” man who seemed to wield unexplained power over others. Anne must be hard for those she goes after to resist, but she is BAD NEWS!! Nothing good seems to come from being around her and in essence she is only self-promoting at all times. The worst part about Rasputin was he was near impossible to kill. While I do not wish physical ill on Anne Heche, when will this skank finally be purged from the entertainment scene? 

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